Michael Holden's Deleted Scenes - Throwing Up

A man and a woman, sharing a cigarette outside a bar. The woman is on the phone, laughing a lot and saying, ‘Oh, my, God,” between drawing deeply on the cigarette and handing it back to the man who is somewhere between intrigued and pissed off. Eventually, she hangs up. Woman: “Oh. My. God.” Man: [like this had better be good] “What is it?” Woman: “That was Patrick. I really fucked up. I made him worse.” Man: “How?” Woman: “I made a Moussaka, and it was bad. He’s been sick all night. Puking and shitting. He can’t even keep his painkillers down. He’s in a bad way.” Man: “Wow. And you were meant to be looking after him.” Woman: “Yeah. He just said, ‘You should be working for that place.’ In Switzerland. What’s it called?” Man: “Dignitas?” Woman: [laughing] “Yeah, he said I should be working there.” Man: “I hate Moussaka”   Woman: “You like lamb.” Man: “That’s not the point. I don’t like the word – anything about it. How were his stitches?” Woman: “Bad. I mean, he couldn’t even sneeze without them hurting, so puking must have been…” Man: “Did you make it yourself?” Woman: “No, it was from Tesco.” Man: “Well that’s not on you then.” Woman: “I gave it to him.” Man: “They sold it to you. How is he?” Woman: “He’s just glad it’s over.”

Man: “Post trauma, euphoric-type thing?” Woman: [lighting another cigarette, drawing a line under the matter] “No. I wouldn’t go that far.”

Illustration by Johnny Ryan

Previously: Michael Holden's Deleted Scenes - Topless Takeaway Takedown